Years ago, when I decided my Catholic upbringing just wasn't cutting it for me, I researched witchcraft.  It was a natural choice for me.  My family always dabbled in things "occult" as mainstream seems to put it.  I decided a Solitary path was the right one for me.  I didn't want to have to live up to someone else's standards or expectations of me.  I could practice when I wanted to, or not.  I could observe the Sabbats, or not.

I've come across an issue though. It would appear I need a little structure in my life.  I need guidance and direction.  I need the proverbial kick in the pants every now and again.  It's been quite some time since I've practiced anything close to magic.  I have kind of let myself slip to the wayside and I've allowed mundane life to take over.

Last night I was invited to sit in on a class with a local coven.  The High Priestess is a colleague of mine and I've been attracted to her energy for quite some time.  She exudes the aura of an elder, but treats me as an equal.  I wasn't expecting that.  She listened to what I had to say.  The entire coven did.  I wasn't looked at as a freak because I didn't seek out the path the same way they did.  I felt like what I had to say may actually have some credence in this group.

The discusssion was lively.  It got a little loud at one point too.  It was the most amazing experience I've had since my first trip to Kaleidescope 2 years ago now.  I understand the group dynamic now.  I understand why people seek out covens.  It's not just for acceptance.  It's for learning, and companionship and a whole slew of other reasons.

I learned more last night in that discussion and class than I have in the years I've claimed to be a witch.  The invitation to join another class and subsequent discussion was offered again last night.  I can guarantee I'll be there.  These are some amazing people who have taught me that I still have a LOT to learn.

Thank you.  I loved the experience.  You've opened my eyes to a whole new world.  You are an amazing group and I'm thankful that you've opened up even just a little for me.

I know I've already rambled on about how much it sucks to quit smoking.  However, when I came across this picture..........I just felt something.  She's determined, she's strong, she won't give up.  That's kinda how I'm feeling today.  I'm not gonna let anything make me lay down my sword!

I celebrated my birthday a week ago today.  It was an alright day I guess.  It would have been much better had I not decided to quit smoking on that very day.  You see, I have a very high stress job where I need to talk to people for my ENTIRE shift.  I decided that since I would have 4 consecutive days off work, it would be a good time to quit.

Why on earth would any sane person decide to quit smoking?  Smoking is a FANTASTIC habit.  Quitting is the absolute dumbest idea ever!  Keeps your hands occupied, something to do when you're outside freezing chatting with your friends, calms you down when you're stressed, keeps you occupied so your not stuffing your face with food.  It is simply wonderful. 

Quitting stresses you out.  Makes you mean to the ones who love you the most, all you can think about is that one more cigarette.  Time crawls.  You breathe easier immediately.  You realize just how bad you stunk when you smoked.  You can relax in a restaurant and not want to rush out and have a smoke.  No more freezing unnecessarily.  And for some people, hell, think of the money you're going to save.

I have been smoke free for 7 days now.  I'm working on day 8.  For anyone who thinks the first three days are the hardest, to hell with them.  It fluctuates.  My worst days so far were 1, 3, 5.  Yesterday was okay.  So far so good today.  It's a challenge.  Everyday.  I just choose to win.  I don't want to die from Lung Cancer or COPD.  I'll be damned if some drug is gonna continue to control me.

Oh yeah!!!! For those of you looking to support your friends or family members trying to quit, I have some advice.  Don't sit there and say "Hang in there, you can do it."  I much prefer the honest approach "Yeah, quitting sucks, suck it up Princess!"  No fluffy bunny crap for me!  I'm off to chew that toothpick now!